It’s been four weeks since my last newsletter. As I hinted in my last one, I was contemplating taking a break while I was away for a week soaking up the August sun, eating well (and poorly, because, well, potato chips and cookies,) swimming and paddle boarding. I am extremely grateful for the time I get to spend with my family at a lake each summer. It’s usually one of the highlights of the year each year!
I was going to write a short letter and include a photo of the beautiful scenery, but alas, I encountered a few issues with internet connectivity which frustrated me, so I ditched the idea altogether.
The last several weeks have been a bit of a blur.
I have been busy working part time at both my seasonal job and my business. Somedays it feels scattered and out of control. Today feels a little like that to me. That and I am having trouble getting going today. I’m going to blame the cloudy weather today, though I suspect I’m just a bit emotionally drained.
You see, I realized over the course of July that my volunteer time at the Generator Makerspace was a commitment that was beginning to interfere with my ability to take on a few more hours of part-time work. It was also a source of stress because I was packing lunch for work and dinner for my volunteer shift, as well as a change of clothes in addition to only having about 30 minutes to commute from my seasonal job to Generator in Burlington. While I was able to make it work, I began to feel really rushed almost every day that I was scheduled to do both.
I really struggled to make a decision that was going to make me feel like I was “doing the right thing.” It is one of my intentions to give back to the community as part of my own business. The reality is that I have limited amounts of time and right now I really need to focus on earning an income whether that comes from part-time work and/or my business. My volunteer time was beginning to eat up some much needed downtime during my week. It was beginning to become difficult to justify inlight of the fact that I almost never had anyone come in for jewelry related questions and guidance. While it saved me some money on my membership, I wasn’t using the equipment there in ways that I had hoped a year ago.
So, last week I decided to discontinue being the Jewelry Studio lead at Generator.
Oh sure, I could have changed what day my volunteer shift was. Unfortunately, I couldn’t figure out any other day in my schedule that would work. That was really what caused the realization that it was a commitment I really didn’t have time to make at this point in time. Hopefully, life will work out in ways that I can do it again in the future.
For now though, I’m going to pay twice as much for a regular, non-volunteer shift to see if I can utilize the laser machines to make some sort of wood jewelry to sell in addition to the things I’ve been working on.
So, while I’m feeling a sense of relief that my last shift was yesterday, I’m also feeling a bit emotionally drained because it was a really big reckoning for me to realize that I wanted, and needed, those few hours back to myself.
All of this really made me wonder why I felt so bad about giving up a commitment where, at least from my perspective, I was “giving back to the community.” Maybe it’s something I learned growing up, maybe it’s because I feel guilty that I don’t have the capacity to give back to the community right now. I’m not really sure. It IS important to me. The reality is that I can’t help others if I haven’t helped myself first.
On that note, I’m going to leave you all with this, in hopes that it inspires you to ponder ways that will help you take care of yourselves:
Until next time,
Justin